Chapter 15: And everything just keeps changing

Some people can plan a wedding and get extra work at their job and turn that into a prime blogging opportunity. I am not one of those people.

We got engaged, we planned a wedding, we decided to get a puppy and reserved one, we got married, we went to Jamaica, we came home, our puppy was born, we went to a family reunion, we came home again.

And our lives just keep changing. As we continue to adjust to being married people who have to/get to (depending on the situation ;) but mostly GET TO so far) live in the same tiny house, we prepare for another life-changing event.
In about 5 weeks we will be bringing home one of these cuties. We get pick of the litter for a little girl but we haven't picked yet since they are only a week old and can't even see yet. All they do is eat, sleep and look adorable. So I'm by turns excited and terrified of this little furball that is going to turn our lives upside down. I've never had a brand new puppy in the house before. Thank goodness for hardwood floors. I think I'm going to have to roll up the Tibetan rug and hide it for a year or so though. When I start to get nervous I just take deep breaths and think about how sweet and cuddly the puppy will be. And try not to think about how much pee and poop and vomit I'm going to be wiping up in the next year. And as soon as that starts to lay off it will be time to be thinking about having to do the same thing for a tiny human. *sigh* I guess the next several years of my life might as well be preemptively dubbed "The bodily fluid years--K-9 and Human."

Our babies better be at least as cute as our puppy.

Chapter 14: Where's the Ring....?

I used to have a blog for approximately 3 days called "Where's the Ring?" I wrote about a few blind dates and then lost interest. The caption under the heading read:

Whether it's family members asking me at someone else's wedding or I'm asking it of myself, this seems to be the question of the hour for a single 27 y/o woman. Why aren't you married yet?

Between then and now a lot of people have asked me why I'm not married or when am I getting married or "Isn't it time for you to get married and have some babies?" I'm not 27 anymore. I'll be 30 in less than 6 months. I'll also be married in less than 6 months. Um, yah.

I'M ENGAGED!!!

More on that lovely story later. It's Christmas Eve-Eve and I'm off to work for a half day and then home to pack up to head to the family for Christmas. I don't even really need the Christmas shenanigans this year to be cheerful. I am blissfully happy :) And, yet, I STILL get Christmas presents on top of it all!!!! Merry Christmas to me!!!!

Chapter 13: An apple a day

Last week I got a half a bushel of apples on clearance for $10 and decided it was time to make some apple butter. YUM. I found out recently that you just make it in your crock pot! Easy as apple pie. You DO have to make the apple sauce first, but that's no problem. Unless, of course, you don't have a food mill. I just assumed I'd be able to pick one up at our local wholesale kitchen store on Saturday morning. Not so much. They only had little tiny ones or big giant electric, restaurant style $300 versions. I can order one for fairly cheap online but the apples needed to be used now. I finally resigned myself to pealing a half a bushel of apples because you CAN make apple sauce without a food mill if you peal them first since the purpose of the mill is to separate the fruit from the skin. You just have to put them in the food processor or blender after they've softened up on the stove. I was saved only 4 apples in by a friend who had her grandmother's old Foley Food Mill and offered to let me borrow it. The old ones your grandma had work so much better than anything new, I swear. And I REALLY didn't want to peal 1/2 a bushel of apples.

So I have a crock pot full of apple sauce in the fridge waiting to start cooking tomorrow and turn into delicious apple butter. My house is going to smell DELICIOUS tomorrow! Then I'll can them and have lovely jars up on the shelf next to the strawberry jam I canned in the spring. Like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Cause I'm a pioneer girl.

Chapter 12: EUREKA!

Eureka Springs, that is.

Daniel and I have been saying for over a year that we wanted to make it up to Eureka Springs to poke around but just never got around to it. There was an Ozark Folk Festival this weekend and it was a pretty day so we headed up this afternoon for a quick visit.

Road Trip!!


The Hill Benders--Love that Bluegrass!

We wandered through the shops and when we came back by there was a drum circle! It was actually pretty cool. I might have to go to one in town one of these days

Everyone always says, "If you go to Eureka, you have to go to Geraldi's." So we did. It was pretty tasty. I would recommend it if you're in the area and wanting some pizza. Of course, they were closing up shop at 7pm like every place else, so you better get there early.

Chapter 11: The Opposite of a Jonah Day

 

I won this in an Ebay auction today.  First Edition, 39th Impression Anne of Green Gables.  I could sing for joy.  I had resigned myself to never being able to own an early edition Anne of Green Gables.  They usually go for several hundred dollars.  I paid $36.55.  My heart might explode with excitement when it comes in the mail.  Anne calls very bad days in which nothing seems to go right “Jonah Days."  Today was not that kind of day.

Chapter 10: Brings A Whole New Meaning to "Hotter than a whore in church"

For several weeks our pastor Robb has mentioned every Sunday that maybe it would be cool if everyone dressed like Bible characters or just anyone from church history on Halloween. At first it was "Wouldn't it be LAME if we did that?" And then "Wouldn't it be FUNNY if we did that?" And it finally ended up the week before Halloween with "OK, I can pretty much guarantee you a few extra jewels in your crown up in Heaven if you dress up next Sunday." Which is basically a dare. And I'm defenseless against a good dare.

So Daniel and I hemmed and hawed at the last minute trying to think up some funny costumes.

Daniel suggested I be a double rainbow, all the way.


Cause a rainbow is a Bible character.

But I didn't have anything to make a rainbow costume. Instead Daniel used an old tunic costume he had and I used a big pretty piece of fabric from Thailand, some Mardi Gras beads and the walking stick I bought for Daniel at my family reunion year before last and a pillow for a fake baby belly.

You see, we've been moving through Genesis this year in church. A few months ago we came to the the story of Judah and Tamar. Quick recap--Tamar marries Judah's son and he is struck down by God. So she marries her brother-in-law. He doesn't want to father a child with her like he's supposed to because it would be considered his dead brother's kid. When he is remiss in his duties, God also strikes him down. Judah sends Tamar away and promises she can marry the other brother when he grows up. But he breaks his promise. And Tamar pretends to be a prostitute and Judah helps her get into a family way when Judah comes to town. She hangs on to his staff (family reunion walking stick) and cord (Mardi Gras beads) to prove who her Baby Daddy is when she gets a big belly and everyone in town wants to do away with her what with her no-husband-having, person-growing situation. But she busts out Judah's belongings and he's all "Oh yah, my bad." The end.

Nice story, lots of lessons to be learned. By grown ups. In the sermon. For my part, it's my responsibility to write the Kids Church lesson plans. Riiiiiiiight. So Robb attempted to tell me right before this lesson came up how important it was for me to be planning my lessons on EXACTLY what we were studying in church each week. But he couldn't even keep a straight face through the first sentence. And the kids sang Father Abraham and glued macaroni to construction paper. Not really. I don't actually have them do macaroni crafts but I think maybe I should now that I mention it. hmmm

Anyway. In closing, the scenario Sunday morning went like this.

We were totally late for church and walked in the door in our super costumes just as Robb was saying that he really thought more people would come dressed up but no one did. Except for my friend Wendy who dressed up as Michelle Duggar and I didn't even get to see her. Boo. Enter us:

And cue the laughter. Someone asked if we were Mary and Joseph and, instead of answering, I glared around, shook my stick and beads, pointed to my belly and glared at Daniel. After a beat Robb yelled out "You're Judah and Tamar?!?!?" It was awesome.

And then all my Sunday school kids thought I was actually pregnant and kept asking me if I was having a boy baby or a girl baby. Less awesome.

But we ended the morning with my new favorite quote of all time coming from Robb.

"Nobody dresses up like a fake prostitute like you, Erin."

It's true.

Nobody does.

Chapter 9: Thou shalt not defame the name of Dorothy Gale

I haven't posted in over a month, bad blogger, how very indicative of my lack of follow through and an ironic example of the whole reason I started this blog yada yada yada. Ok, now that that's out of the way let's continue like it never happened. Also sort of an ironic example of my character flaws. Moving right along.

This month is apparently National Blog Posting Month or NaBloPoMo aka "The theme with the most awkward and sort of dirty sounding acronym ever" month. Even though the name is a little bit lame and I'm 3 days late starting I'm going to attempt to take part. I haven't actually read anything about it yet other than I'm supposed to make a commitment to post every day of the month of November. That might be a little bit difficult logistically speaking during Fake Thanksgiving and Actual Thanksgiving but I'll figure something out.

I don't really have a reason for not blogging, I just haven't sat down to do it. Every time I've had some free time I've been obsessively playing New Super Mario Bros on the Wii. But this last weekend was Halloween and I resolved to write a little something about the kick-off to the Holiday Season. Mostly because of something disturbing Daniel and I encountered at his DJ cousin's big annual Halloween Bash.

OK, I'm accustomed to the concept of a majority of girls' Halloween costumes being "Slutty _____". Especially college girls. I usually prefer to think up something witty or culturally relevant so I wish I could say I've never partaken in this (newish?) tradition. Sadly I cannot honestly make that assertion. I had some friends in college who I'm still quite close to today who threw epic parties. EPIC. One year for the Halloween party we all had a meeting and wrote costume ideas on little pieces of paper and put them in a bowl. My suggestion was "Bertha the Bald-Headed Ballerina" but, sadly, no one pulled that one from the bowl since we all made multiple suggestions. I drew "naughty nurse." Very inspired. But I am a slave to the rules of the game when it comes to theme parties so I scoured the earth and located an actual vintage nurse's uniform. I hemmed the HECK out of it so that it was so short if I bent over slightly you'd see the bright red boy shorts I purchased for the occasion and borrowed a lacy red push-up bra from a friend. I felt very daring. But that pales in comparison to the travesty I witnessed last Friday night.

Daniel and I were hanging out at the club checking out everyone's costumes when a "Dorothy" started walking our direction. She wore a little white top with poofy cap sleeves that was just big enough to cover her girls. I leaned over and yelled in Daniel's ear over the music "I've seen lingerie bigger than that!" And then she passed us by and my eyeballs almost caught fire. The following is what I saw:

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

That is not a costume. Those are SEQUINED UNDIES! Which, BTW, just makes me itchy to even think about. I'm not totally sure what the little bowed bands are supposed to be, garters I think. Home girl doesn't even know those are supposed to be holding up stockings. Or maybe it's supposed to be worn that way. Who knows? I'm sure not Googling it.

I guess I can't judge too much. I did, after all grab my boyfriends arm and scream "You have GOT to take a picture of her @$$!!!!" I was self-aware enough to realize immediately what a weird thing that is to ask of your boyfriend but I couldn't help myself. My mind was blown. So many questions. Does she KNOW that it's almost November and COLD outside? And yet she chose to leave the house in pretty much nothing but panties? What, exactly, was she hoping to accomplish by dressing this way? I don't think I'm a prude. I have no problem with the human body. It's a beautiful thing. I don't necessarily think poorly of women who dress provocatively in public. I do wonder WHY? I just can't relate. Maybe if I were as fit as this young woman I'd feel differently but I don't think so. Still, I do have one major problem with this concept.

You probably think, from the direction this seems to be going, that I'm about to launch into a tirade either about modesty or about the right of a woman to walk down the street buck neckid and not have it be sexualized because women aren't just sexual creatures created for the enjoyment of men everywhere. But that's not where this is going.

Some things are just too sacred to mess with for me.

I don't take the Lord's name in vain.
I do not tolerate vegetables or fungus on my pizza.
Don't touch me with your feet.
And DO NOT.
Under ANY circumstances.
In any way, shape or form.
And I mean EVER.

Disrespect anything that is involved with, pertains to or represents The Wizard of Oz.

Dorothy Gale is a sweet little innocent farm girl.
She should not be part of your disgusting little perv fantasy.

If I had been a little bit tipsy I might very well have waltzed up to her half-naked self and given her a lecture on how to pay proper respect to the classic works of Mr. L. Frank Baum and the iconic image of the radiant Judy Garland.

Instead I was just too distracted trying not scratch my behind just thinking about sequined undies.