Thursday, September 23, 2010

Chapter 8: Don't steal food from an overworked dieting woman

Happy fun things and things and crummy ones.

I got to visit my sister and her kids, my grandma and my brother and some of his kids last weekend. It was really nice. Driving around my college town in the cooling weather made me nostalgic. I hadn't been on a road trip by myself in a long time. Heck, I haven't BEEN by myself for more than a few hours in ages. I'm very busy and important. AKA over scheduled. So it was nice to just be alone in my thoughts for a few hours at a time.

My sister and I got to talking about how we've both gained some weight in the last few months and have been having trouble staying motivated to lose it. We've both done well on Weight Watchers in the past (she went to meetings but I never did) but it hasn't been doing the trick lately because we just can't seem to stay motivated. . We talked about a few other tactics we've heard of but nothing seemed to fit. So the next morning my sister gets up and around and looks at me across the kitchen with a glint in her eye. She had an idea. A brilliant idea. Last year we started a tradition in our family for some of the girls to go Christmas shopping together in Branson and we're going to go the first week in December this year. So my sister and I are having our own version of the Biggest Loser.

  1. We both have to lose at least 10lbs by the shopping trip or the competition is void.
  2. Whoever loses the most between now and when we go shopping gets her portion of the hotel room paid for by the other sister
Voila! We're both going to join Weight Watchers and go to the meetings and we are going to rock this joint! My personal goal is to lose between 12 and 17lbs. We started on Monday so that gives us almost 11 weeks. At the very minimum, if I lose a pound a week plus a few ounces I'll make my goal. I think 1.5-2lbs a week is a healthy amount for sustaining weight loss so I'm pretty confident that it's doable! And then we're going to be some smokin' hot sisters come Christmas-time!

So I've been counting my points this week and doing pretty well. Which brings me to the crummy item on today's list.

I really like Red Delicious apples. They are just so crisp and juicy. I like to put them in the fridge. Cold is best when it comes to apples in my book. Not so with oranges. Oranges should be room temperature. And I put salt on them. But I didn't buy an orange yesterday. I bought an apple. A nice, dark, red one. And put it in the crisper of the fridge at work next to the rest of my food: my lunch, my bag of bagels and cream cheese for breakfast. I was thinking about that apple all day yesterday but had a meeting in another town in the afternoon so I didn't get to have it as my snack. After grocery shopping last night I was hungry and seriously wishing I had just brought it home. I definitely should have.

Because something terrible happened.

I thought about the apple all day today too. Just waiting and waiting for my afternoon tummy grumble that meant it was snack time. I spend a VERY long time working on some stuff with one of my bosses and FINALLY we finished and off I went to get my apple to de-stress from my crazy to-do list.

But it wasn't in the fridge.

I walked back to my desk and stood there sort of lost and confused. Then I went back to the fridge to look again. I moved things around. I picked up jugs of milk because apples are so magical they could hide underneath a jug of milk, right? But no. My apple was gone.

Somebody ate my apple. Somebody STOLE my apple.

HOW does a person do that? What on earth makes someone feel so entitled that they think they can just take whatever they want, whenever they want it just because they feel like it? I am utterly shocked and appalled.

So I, of course, sent an email to the entire office explaining how I was very sad because I had been dreaming about my rosy red delicious apple all day and, alas, it was nowhere to be found. But maybe it just went on a little trip and would be back in its drawer in the morning. Except it might have sounded slightly less passive aggressive. Or it might not have. I was royally ticked off. I hit send and moments later hear laughing all over the office. I then get a handful of responses telling me how I am oh-so "Fun" and "Hilarious."

I am not fun or hilarious. I am a hungry dieting woman who was looking forward to a 1 point snack. And some Skank stole it from me. Also, I'm cheap. I budget my month down to a ZERO every month just like Dave Ramsey taught me (I try to/mean to anyway). There is not a penny that I don't have specific plans for. They might as well have opened up my purse and pulled a couple of bucks out of my wallet. Since when is it OK to act like little children who don't know any better in the workplace?!?! *Expletive of Frustration*

What I really want to do right now is take a nice hot bubble bath and read a comfort book. You know, the ones I've read over and over. Except I can't. Because I made a pledge (sort of). And I can't self medicate with Laura Ingalls Wilder. And all the books I have lined up at home ready to read are serious ones. Somehow I don't think any of these would lift my spirits.

Hmmm...first real bump in the whole "only new books for 6 months" thing. It's like trying to resist chocolate cake.


Now I want chocolate cake too.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Chapter 7: In which a computer error at Lowe's makes my day

I usually don't buy plants at full price. I wait for the people at Lowe's or Home Depot or wherever to pretty much kill them and then put them on the "Almost Dead" rack. Then I pay 25cents for them and either nurse them back to health or I finish the job and they end up in my compost heap.

Yesterday was the first time in ages that I'd been to Lowe's because a) I would definitely kill anything new that I planted in this heat just as I killed 99% of the plants already on my deck in the past few weeks and b) I just really didn't need to be spending money on more plants. I have a birthday party to prepare for, people! But because of said birthday party it really IS time to fix the running toilet.

A plumber friend at church offered months ago to fix it if I'd just go buy a "Tank to Bowl Kit." OK. I can do that. If there is something called a kit and all I have to do is ask for it at Lowe's I'm golden. I was even more excited to realize that such a kit is less than $5! The teenage boy in the plumbing section even said it was a one-size situation. Even better! But I'm cautious (ok, paranoid) about that kind of thing so I asked him "Are you SURE this will fit any size toilet?" and he returned from asking another employee with the answer "Probably, but maybe not." Instead of buying both sizes and returning the one that doesn't fit, I decided I'd let my plumber friend come look at my toilet and tell me which to get. At which time I will go get the correct size while he takes apart my ancient toilet. Problem solved; now it's time to go look at the crispy plants!

So while I was checking out a very meager selection, Daniel was noticing that a particular section of plants was swarming with butterflies and bees while none of the other plants were getting much attention. Since he was getting really excited about the butterfly bushes and we had a disappointing showing around the garden this summer when it came to the precious little pollinators I suggested we get one. The big sizes were marked to $16.95 or something like that but the smaller ones didn't have a price anywhere. So another high school boy/Lowe's employee came along to get us a price check.

And it rang up as $1.91.
"Did you say $11.91," I asked skeptically.
"Nope," says another high school boy. "They're $1.91."
"DANIEL! Get 3 more!"

Four plants for less than what one of them probably should have cost! That is the kind of thing that makes me just giddy.

Because I might have someone out to grind up a stump right where they'll be going they aren't planted yet but here they are patiently awaiting their new home.So pretty!

My photography skills leave a little to be desired and they're pretty small not but THIS is what they WILL look like.
And they have a really fast growth-rate. We were at some friends' house for a party last night and coincidentally they had a butterfly bush in their yard that they bought last year. When they planted it it was a foot tall. now it's about 6 feet.

I also finally remembered to go to the park and pick up a few horse apples for decoration. I have meant to do that every year for 3 years and I finally remembered!

Saturday was a pretty dandy day!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Chapter 6: Something will get done eventually, right?

So the flashback to my tender years was brought on by me trying to decide whether or not it was ironic that the reason I hadn’t posted in two weeks on my blog (you know, the one about having too much on my plate & putting that plate aside for more plates?) was because I’ve been busy with hobbies and traveling and being lazy.  I put my shelves together and rearranged the sunroom into something of a sewing room/library but left the shelf boxes propped up against a wall so, of course, I never took a picture to share.  And I went to dance class twice a week getting ready to dance with a local men’s choir this weekend but I never did go buy the shirt I’m supposed to get or the right pants so I’ll have to get both tomorrow.  And I never did write about how I got into dance class because I took some video in class to include and I need to edit the clips to make sure you only see feet and not the ladies in my class, cause that would be seriously rude. 

Then I went to Memphis with Daniel for Labor Day to visit his family and do Memphis things.  Also we’re down a few people at work in my position so I’m doing lots of filling in so my brain is spinning by supporting 4 client groups instead of 2.  But I’m making lots of progress on the afghan I’ve been working on so basically when I get home I want to eat dinner, watch a movie and knit.  Or write lists.  About Daniel’s Birthday.  And the things I need to do to get ready for it. Which are a lot of things.  Including fixing the toilet because I can’t have dozens of people at my house and have them turn off the water to the toilet after they’re done because it runs constantly if you don’t.  And has pretty much all of 2010.  Yah. 

But tonight I was productive!  There was much secret planning and arranging and MAYBE some doing tonight.  But that is all I can say.  Because I love surprises and I don’t want to spoil any of Daniel’s.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Chapter 5:Alanis Morissette doesn't know what irony means

Ahhh, how my friends and I loved Jagged Little Pill when we were in, what, 8th grade? 9th grade? I could look it up but it doesn't really matter. Suffice it to say that we were old enough to start having some drama in our lives and young enough to think it was REAL drama. Thus the joy in listening to post "You Can't do that on Television" Alanis as a method to either work through our own "pain" or work ourselves up into manufacturing something to feel angsty over if we didn't have any angst to speak of.

But even then, in the midst of feeling awkward and not cool enough and wondering "oh for the love of all that is good and holy was I ever going to grow boobs?" (answer: no) I was still an, if not unabashed, slightly nerd and knew the definition of the word irony. Sure, I sang in a really off-pitch adolescent voice about finding black flies in my chardonnay even though I didn't REALLY know what chardonnay was other than some kind of wine. I bemoaned the trials of rain on your wedding day. I pretended I was one of the different Alani in the car on the way to the mall. Somehow I always got stuck being the spazzy hair-eater. All the while I had a dirty little secret. That damn song ate at my very being. I thought I would burst with know-it-all-ness every time it came on the radio. Finally, one day I snapped and yelled out "I hate this stupid song those things aren't even ironic!" Only to be met with blank stares and "Of course they are. It's on MTV." Or something equally brainy and well-thought-out. So I'd sing along because, honestly, it's really catchy. But eventually I'd have to pipe in my 2 cents. Sometimes someone would laugh when they realized the truth. A few people joined me in deconstructing exactly WHY each line was not ironic and we felt so stinking intelligent and just above it all. If there had been a coffee shop in our small town we totally would have hung out there being cool. But usually, in the true essence of teenagerdom, people just said "Who cares? This song is amazing. It's, like, so totally exactly what I'm feeling right now, you know? I mean, gaaaaaah." And I would cozy in a little further into my assigned role as the friend who didn't really mind being the spazzy hair-eater Alanis on rides to the mall and who was "smart" because I knew what irony was.